Active Listening

In order to be able to influence other people you have to be able to listen to their points of view. Listening is your most effective tool to deal with resistance yet it is a skill that most of us need to work hard at. Even when you are interested in what a speaker is saying it is difficult to avoid your mind wandering onto what you think of the topic or how you might apply what they are saying.

"A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with." (Wells, 1956)

Active listening involves listening to the whole person and absorbing both verbal and non-verbal cues. You can think of this as listening to the head, the heart and the feet.

Fisher (1993) produced the following diagram summarising a reflective listener by the choices they make in their responses to the speaker.

Mindtools have produced a useful Guide to Active Listening.