Handling Conflict

In any change situation different perspectives have the potential to cause conflict. Resistance needs to be brought out into the open and acknowledged (especially in a change project) otherwise it will simply surface elsewhere. It helps to take the view that all of the stakeholders will inevitably be trying to achieve what they believe to be the best possible outcome. Similarly in dealing with difficult behaviour you need to accept that every behaviour has a positive intention otherwise the person wouldn't do it. If the positive intention in this case is to stop your project you need to understand why they believe this is the most desirable outcome.

In most cases we can expect to work with stakeholders again after the end of a project so it is important that we preserve relationships. Achieving a desired outcome and wanting to preserve the relationship is different to just getting the outcome. Rather than engaging in competitive strategies that involve win/lose you need to ensure that you keep both perspectives on the table and find a win/win solution. Key to this is the ability to be flexible about how you achieve outcomes. Hold onto your outcome but be prepared to let go of your position.

A certain amount of conflict arises from the fact that people tend to fall into two types: Matchers and Mismatchers. Matchers seek similarities and tend to agree easily. Mismatchers look for differences and tend to be good at testing/proofing/checking out what will stop something working. Matchers may support change but are unlikely to instigate it. Some people who appear excessively critical of what you are trying to achieve may simply be exhibiting mismatcher tendencies. These people can be very useful to you in terms of helping you to pinpoint risk and test possible solutions and because they like to challenge they can often be effective change agents.

The tactic of 'chunking up' in a discussion till you reach a level at which there is agreement has already been mentioned. Another tactic that can turn around a difficult situation is to 'rewind' the conversation to the point where it started to go wrong. The phrase 'Can we just rewind to the point where we agreed that...' is a useful one. People seem to accept this suggestion quite readily and find it easy to visualise themselves back at an earlier point (this can be a useful tip in interview situations as well).

Finally beware of using the little word 'but'. The use of 'but' tends to rebut everything that has gone before and people only hear the end of the sentence. Replacing it with 'and' can often signal a more positive approach. Compare the following:

'I recognise that you have concerns about using the new technology but you'll receive training in the new system.'

'I recognise that you have concerns about using the new technology and you'll receive training in the new system.'